Scratch-n-sniff
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The "What if" gamestolen from that pluto group on facebook. Just answer my question then ask your own what if question.
What if I hadn't started this thread?
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Liam, Major Major drummer
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then i wouldnt have replied
what if emmers never pulled that face?
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Scratch-n-sniff
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I would have never pissed him off by posting it everywhere
What if emmerson pulls that face again?
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Liam, Major Major drummer
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someone should take another picture
what if brad pit did run for prime minister
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Scratch-n-sniff
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people would actually vote!
What if david cameron WASNT lieing about all the things he does and in fact is genuine?
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StinkyP
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Then I might piss on him if he was on fire. Might.
What if it never rained?
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Scratch-n-sniff
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no one would blame anything on global warming and the clouds would be like a giant spot on a teenagers face
what if mcdonalds sold food that was edible?
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Dave
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Then the pigs they don't kill would be able to fly
What if Jesus came back?
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Scratch-n-sniff
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I'd owe people ALOT of money in gambling losses
What if Jesus didnt have a beard?
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Gibbo
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Medieval fashions would be WAY different
What if evolution favoured the obese?
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Liam, Major Major drummer
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bouttons on mobile phones would have to be a lot bigger
what if hard disks wernt hard?
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Scratch-n-sniff
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they'd be floppy disks
what if david beckham played for usa?
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Dave
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He'd ask where the goal net is
What if Tim Henman ruled the world?
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Scratch-n-sniff
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We'd win at tennis for once
What if the Queen liked it up the bum?
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Liam, Major Major drummer
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there would be no change
what if your eyes were see through
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Scratch-n-sniff
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Optomolgy would be a real degree
What if Tony Blair NEVER left his job and got re-elected every time?
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Dave
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He'd probably get assassinated
What if Thatcher never died?
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Liam, Major Major drummer
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again
no change
what if macs were more poular than pc's?
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Scratch-n-sniff
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there wouldnt be an Ad campagine featuring mitchell and webb
What if unicorns were real?
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Dave
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Jockeys would have somewhere to hang their coat
What if Italy suddenly disappeared?
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Liam, Major Major drummer
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the world would be a less greasy place
what if we all had an extra arm?
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StinkyP
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Productivity of everything in the whole world, except walking and cock fest, would increase by a third.
What if everybody looked like Chris Moyles?
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Liam, Major Major drummer
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then we'd be dreaming about jaba the hut instead of lea
what if dvd stood for defunkt video device?
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Scratch-n-sniff
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I'd say that instead of DVD all the time
What if Elvis was alive today?
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Dave
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He'd still be playing in Vegas, subtley condemning his impersonators as 'sad bastards'
What if Saddam did actually have weapons of mass destruction which were all pointed at London and Washington?
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Scratch-n-sniff
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Tony Blair would not be resigning and George Bush would go down as the greatest president in history......LMAO!!!!!
What if North Korea DIDNT have weapons of mass destruction pointing at Toyko and Bejing?
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Gibbo
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We would have invaded them for sure since we could have gotten away with it
What if JFK never got shot?
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Scratch-n-sniff
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He still would have lost the election, there wouldnt be a film on his brother Bobby and Lee Harvey Oswald would be the name of a marmalade, not a worldwide known assasin.
What if Dr Who was real?
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Dave
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He'd be a celebrity and then have his Tardis nicked in Kensington
What if the Earth was the size of France and people were the size of the Eiffel Tower?
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Liam, Major Major drummer
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there would be alot less of us
what if we never stop counting?
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Elgi the Woo
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We'd all get bored and leave you to count all by yourself!
What if Britain's language was predominantly French?
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Dave
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Jerome le Clarcsonne would go around going 'what about the Swiss?'
What if the biggest man on Earth was a foot tall?
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Scratch-n-sniff
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sucking dick will be less strain on people's backs, thus chiropractors will be made redundant.
What if Glastonbury was held in Skegness?
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Dave
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Nobody would go and the Army would be forced to bomb it
What if America was the size of Coventry?
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Scratch-n-sniff
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ALOT less gun crime
what if the only weapons in the world were water pistols and nerf rockets?
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Dave
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Wars would be great fun and so would never happen
What if everyone on Earth had a button that would destroy the planet when pressed?
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Scratch-n-sniff
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it definatley would be pressed
what if there really was a ghostbusters?
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Dave
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Then they would be an extra emergency service under 999, it would also probably mean that ghosts existed, which would be odd
What if belly buttons were 30cm across?
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Scratch-n-sniff
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super huge belly fluff, like this
What if england had more guns?
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Major Neil
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you wouldn't be able to tell which was the real me and Major Major could afford to kill me off and find a replacement really easily!
what if..
trees were made out of chocolate!?
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Dave
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Christmas and Easter could be combined quite easily
What if the Moon was bigger than the Earth?
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Scratch-n-sniff
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then the first man on the moon would be adam & eve, get your head around that
what if russia won the space race?
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Dave
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- America would be in denial
- All Americans would believe the moon landing was faked, Russia was actually planting nuclear missiles there obviously!
- "One giant leap for a Cosmonaut, one pathetic rub by the Yanks"
What if smoking was good for you?
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Major Neil
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passive smoking would be on a "get your 5 a day" scheme!
what if... the egg came first?
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Scratch-n-sniff
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but who laid it???
what if you could milk your own nipples?
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Major Neil
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they would have human milking farms and i would suck my nipples more often.
What if.. pears were apples and apples were pears?
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Scratch-n-sniff
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they would be called apple drops and cider would be pear cider, actually that gives me an idea.
what if the north was posher, more expensive and snootier than the south
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Dave
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Britain would be upside-down, actually that would look pretty cool on maps as Cornwall would be thrusting out towards the Arctic Circle and John O'Groats would bask in the warmer Atlantic waters
What if the Leaning Tower of Pisa fell over?
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Scratch-n-sniff
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pisa would have a new tourist attraction - the row of flats of pisa
what if french and british people, put their difference's aside, forgot about all the invasions and so the french just were less rude to british people?
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StinkyP
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Hahahaha!
What if Liverpool get invaded by armed people from Chester looking to reenact a bit of Roman history?
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Scratch-n-sniff
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then chester will win because they have the elimant of surprise
what if beer didnt have any alcohol in it?
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Dave
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The man who invented it would be discarded as one of history's losers and it wouldn't be around now at all
What if this forum didn't exist?
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Scratch-n-sniff
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I think we had that one?
We would all pass our degree's/get up the job ladder alot faster
what if hollyoaks is on before the simpsons?
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Dave
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I really wouldn't notice at all
What if humans disappeared from the face of the Earth tomorrow?
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Scratch-n-sniff
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there would be a ghost earth mystery, and I would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for you pesky meddling kids
what if you got a medal for coming fourth?
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Dave
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The podium at the Olympics would just have a 4 scrawled on the floor next to it
What if no point on Earth exceeded 1ft above sea level?
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Scratch-n-sniff
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global warming WOULD be taken more seriously...cough cough louis
what if switzerland was famous for cocks, rather than clocks?
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StinkyP
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Everybody would be slightly more suspicious of their copious cow custard output.
What if Freddie Mercury was still alive?
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Scratch-n-sniff
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lmfao
queen would be headlining glastonbury and not the artic monkeys
what if johnny vegas wasnt famous at all?
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Dave
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I would have simply said 'ugh what a fat pisshead' when he walked in the pub the other night as opposed to hugging him and giving him a BAFTA I just happened to have in my pocket
What if the food chain was reversed?
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Scratch-n-sniff
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then I'd shit myself every time I'd see some algae
what if sharks could walk?
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Dave
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They'd be the dominant species, without question
What if the Prime Minister actually lived in a flat above your local chippy?
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Scratch-n-sniff
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he'd get very fat
what if we got to vote for prince william's wife to be queen?
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Dave
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Shilpa Bloody Shetty would be on all the stamps
What if the world looked like a Wallace and Gromit film?
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Scratch-n-sniff
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jam on my face would be hilariously funny and thus aregular occurance
what if you could put your trousers on you top but not your top on your legs?
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Dave
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I don't understand that sentence but I imagine hilarity would occur
What if the historical conclusion to any event was 'with sexy results'?
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Scratch-n-sniff
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I'd have to clean my trousers of jizzum every day
what if night boat took on night rider?
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Dave
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A shitty sitcom would be born
What if all crime was legal for a day? What would you do?
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Scratch-n-sniff
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Punch people woh I listed in the "Celebrity you'd most like to punch in the face" thread, steal everything in microzine and set a rabbit on fire
What if you were king for a day? What would you do?
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Gibbo
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The same as you, but with sleeping on four poster beds and making servants perform acrobatics.
What if white people were a minority?
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Scratch-n-sniff
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Bloody are in birmingham.
If you whities were a minority then us blacks would have a black prime minister, a black queen, a pakistani home secretary and a chinese chancellor. It would be racist to say the following things;
White paint
White as a ghost
Fucking hell whitey get off my bus you ghosts have your own one
However the white people would be able to get away with shouting and hollering at the cinema
What if the NHS was TOTALLY private?
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EmmersoN
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I would have to pay for the cock enlargement operation myself.
What if all schools/universities were private!?
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Scratch-n-sniff
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I would only get as far as an infant school education and probably be a bricky
what if the corner shops only sold corners as their name suggests?
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Dave
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They wouldn't exist, since there would be nowhere to buy the first corner to make a corner shop and sell more corners
What if the digestive system was upside-down?
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Scratch-n-sniff
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that would be horrible but your poo would look and smell alot nicer and you'd be like "Oh so I had fish and chips for tea!"
what if liverpool wasn't the capital of culture for 2008?
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Dave
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The councillors and media would have absolutely nothing to talk about and we'd be lucky if we got planning permission to construct a postbox
What if the world didn't go dark at night?
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Gibbo
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Everyone would get horrendous bags under their eyes cos they wouldn't know to go to bed, and then people's perceptions of beauty would change. People with the biggest bags would be the sexiest, and "sleepies" who go to bed would be shunned like sci-fi nerds. Vince Vaughn would be a God amongst men:
What if Scientology was the world's main religion?
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Scratch-n-sniff
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Tom Cruise and other hollywood celebs would be muslim
What if global warming could be reduced by eating hamburgers?
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Dave
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It would have been solved ages ago, obviously
What if smoking didn't make you look cool?
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Scratch-n-sniff
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I'd give up thats for sure, I only do it to look cool, seriously!
What if leather jackets were made from sheep and not cows?
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Dave
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They'd shrink in rain and the Fonz would look ridiculous
What if it was socially acceptable for men to wear women's underwear?
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Louis
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then you would wear them all the time dave 
what if electrocuting yourself with a 9V battery removed cancer
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Dave
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All my life I've wanted an excuse!
Cancer would be cured, that was an easy one
What if an ice age happened every hour on the hour and lasted for about four minutes?
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Scratch-n-sniff
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I wouldn't have to go to the shops to get ice
what if vanilla ice was as cool as Ice T?
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Dave
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Then I'd still glass him if I had the chance
What if this forum had a million members who used it as constantly as we did?
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Scratch-n-sniff
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we'd bloody reach the count to 10000 thread
what if no one used this forum?
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Major Neil
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*head explodes*
what if you had feet where your hands should be, hands where your feet should be and an extra nose on your bell end?
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Scratch-n-sniff
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pussy smell would need to be improved throughout, having a smelly wee would be horrible and when your parents tell you to wash your hands b4 dinner it would be "wash your feet!"
What if you knew what was going to happen ALL the time?
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StinkyP
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It'd probably be boss for about a week and then you'd go mental. Although, if you knew that was coming, technically you'd probably go mental straight away.
What if dwarves were people too?
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Dave
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I'd feel a twinge of guilty every time I laughed at one dressed as a pixie/goblin/ewok
What if the Loch Ness Monster was real?
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Scratch-n-sniff
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it would most definatley be owned by roman abramovich
what if bigfoot was real?
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Dave
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He'd be singing covers at Live 8
What if aliens were real and were as technologically advanced as the 1980s were on Earth
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Scratch-n-sniff
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we'd all laugh at their ginormous cell phones
what if the matrix was real?
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Gibbo
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What do you mean? It is real!
What if dinosaurs were still around?
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Scratch-n-sniff
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I'm sure we've had this one.
We would have to round them all up using brutal police force and when asked to put their hands above their head or we'll shoot the T-rex would reply "I can't!"
What if we lived in the land of noddy's toy town?
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Dave
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Life would just be better
What if hard was soft and soft was hard?
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Scratch-n-sniff
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Toilet roll would be awful to wipe you arse with
what if asda was tiny?
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Dave
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They wouldn't have room for food as it would be full of nattering people with trolleys
What if the sky was only fifteen foot up in the air?
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Scratch-n-sniff
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travelling to space wouldn't cost £30 million
what if you could eat a horses testicles rare?
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StinkyP
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You'd just get a mouthful of unspent horse jizz.
What if Stephen Fry wasn't gay or posh?
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