Dave
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If That's the Answer, What's the Question?I basically stole this from Mock the Week but hopefully it will work as a thread game for the increasingly re-emerging power of the forum. All you do is write an answer to absolutely anything whether it be 'fifty-six million' or 'yes but not on a Sunday' and then the person below has to think of a hi-larious question to apply it to, then they add an answer of their own for the next person etcetera etcetera
It's sort of like the Mastermind Thread but easier to work out
I'll obviously go first
Answer: He shot himself
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Major Neil
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kurt kobain
"yes but not on a sunday"
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Dave
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Do you blink?
"It fell off"
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J4K1NATOR
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Why isn't the light on?
the entire chinese population
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Dave
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Who would you have sex with in exchange for diplomatic immunity?
Only if you turn it upside down
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Liam, Major Major drummer
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is that actual size?
egg wites fat and sugar
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EmmersoN
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| Major Neil wrote: | kurt kobain
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I dont think neil really understands this game! 
What are the 3 principle ingredients for your favorite omlette?
5 minutes
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Liam, Major Major drummer
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what is president bush's attention span? (well it is robbed from mock the week)
biscuit covered in caramell then chocolate
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Dave
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What is my penis actually made of?
Three and a half hours
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Liam, Major Major drummer
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how long does it take someon on cake to walk across the road?
a clown
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Dave
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What was Elvis before he became a singer?
A pint of blood
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Louis
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what did i cry last night?
a fray bentos anti-cake
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Scratch-n-sniff
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what is elevensies for Rik Waller?
about 3 and a half
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Dave
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If a person lives for forty-two months without dying, how old are they?
It's the largest of its kind in the world
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Scratch-n-sniff
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what's so amazing about neils piles?
not much
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Louis
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what has american foreign policy achieved in the past few years?.........satire
the anglican priests of mongolia
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EmmersoN
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Who would you most like to have an orgy with?
A little bit bigger
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Dave
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What improvements would you make to your own elbows if you could?
Roughly the size of a grapefruit
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Scratch-n-sniff
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when asked "how big were neil's bollocks" louis replied...
88%
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Dave
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How much of Britain's population consists of fat ladies?
Kuwait
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Liam, Major Major drummer
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where is sadam husains holliday home
yo moma
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Louis
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what is africa leader amom oy's name backwards
a little too slippery
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Scratch-n-sniff
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why can't a fish be easily placed down another man's pants?
Fear of plastic cups
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Dave
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What did Oliver Reed overcome at an early age?
Lincoln's hat
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Scratch-n-sniff
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what is the most expensive thing sold at wetherbies auction house?
right sided
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Dave
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What's the opposite of left-sided? (I really couldn't think of anything else)
The underside of Emmerson's scalp
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Scratch-n-sniff
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what do head and shoulders test their shampoo on?
Barrow-in-Furness
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StinkyP
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Who is most aggrieved about Liverpool's undeserved Capital of Culture victory?
Craig David's willy warmer.
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Dave
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What did I joyfully find in my cornflake packet yesterday morning?
Ten years
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Scratch-n-sniff
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how long should amy winehouse go to rehab?
poop
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Louis
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what is a rear deck of a boat called?
the french baguette
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Dave
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What is the least common pet sold in a pet shop?
Diamonds
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Scratch-n-sniff
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what substance does mercury form when solid?
85 meters
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Dave
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What is the furthest distance a British athlete has ever ran in the 100 metres?
73% said yes
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Scratch-n-sniff
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what percent of people would 'do' dave after more than 5 tequila's
275
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J4K1NATOR
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what is the percentage of incorrect statistics used?
Sticky and complicated.
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Liam, Major Major drummer
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what was the cold war?
4 times maximum.
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Dave
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How often can I ingest a moose through my nostrils?
Like a banana but bigger
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Scratch-n-sniff
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describe a banana boat
mostly damp
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J4K1NATOR
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what is the predicted state of our planet if global warming cannot be stopped Mr. Gore?
suprisingly pleasurable
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Louis
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what is it like wiggling a feather up your nose?
he didnt really, it was an imposter
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Dave
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What is so unimpressive about Roger Banister running the four-minute mile?
Apply petrol to the area and set alight
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J4K1NATOR
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what is the worst case of mistranslation?
in your pocket
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Dave
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Where is the most unlikely place in the world to find the lost gold of El Dorado?
The Loch Ness Monster
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Louis
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who created transatlantic airflight
technically it was a kitten
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Dave
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Why was the bomb dropped on Hiroshima so amazing?
Bruce Forsyth
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Louis
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who invented the conveyor belt?
positively charged ions
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Scratch-n-sniff
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what particles are needed for daves head implode
tank top
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J4K1NATOR
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what is a stylish piece of topwear and an essential part of a tank?
Hilton
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Scratch-n-sniff
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What's everyone spent a night in?
beef jerky
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Major Neil
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What are police in London going to use as a replacment for tear gas to disperse crowds?
jinx
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Scratch-n-sniff
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What are police in London going to use as a replacment for tear gas to disperse crowds?
open resources
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Dave
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What is the technical name for open wounds?
Inside Ben Nevis
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Louis
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where is the largest pot of gold in the world hidden?
i thought it was four but turned out to be five
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Dave
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How many legs does my dog have?
5% of Saturn's moons
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Major Neil
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If you took away 95% of Saturns moons what would you be left with?
Old womens bottoms
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Scratch-n-sniff
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what is major major hit single "got to be seen" written about?
4/7
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Major Neil
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what fraction of the population would actually scratch and sniff That cock who doesn't like Monty Python :P?
A serious lack of clothing and mental health
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Louis
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what are the job attributes one needs to become president of france
it came out of the middle of nowhere
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Dave
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What did George Bush say after walking into a wall?
Ten walnuts
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Louis
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what were the keys on the first piano made of?
it was so light it just floated away
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Dave
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What initial problem did the inventor of the tank have to face?
Exactly 100
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Louis
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what are the number of cashew nuts it takes to kill a squirrel
the combustion engine
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Liam, Major Major drummer
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what powered the origional design for the human brain
gazuntite
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Dave
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What is the rarest element in the universe?
Captain Scott
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Scratch-n-sniff
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who was the first person to determine the difference between their arse and their elbow?
around 3 o clock
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Major Neil
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When actually is hammer time?
big feckin womans knickers!
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Scratch-n-sniff
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what do skydivers carry as a back up if their primary chute fails?
89.45
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Dave
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What angle is Neptune from Shrewsbury?
A monkey in a jar
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Scratch-n-sniff
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(where did shrewsbury come from, its 10 mins from my house!?)
list the contents of your mums cupboard...
anglo-saxon-ish
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Dave
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What is the genealogical make-up of somebody who is very vague?
India and Pakistan
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Liam, Major Major drummer
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where are all of the english cricket players from
an umberella
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Louis
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what did the first immigrants to america sail in?
a harp and a halo
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Liam, Major Major drummer
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what is pavarotis new instruments of choice
circular and doughnut shaped
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Scratch-n-sniff
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what did the french first design baguettes in the shape of?
mostly common
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Major Neil
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Girls from Toxteth are..
The size of a 40 year olds face
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Dave
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How large are the hands of a forty-year old person?
It had to be forced in
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Scratch-n-sniff
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how the hell did that dildo get in conor's arse?
section 42 code break 95a
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Dave
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What part of Whitney Houston's contract allows her to ride a Sherman tank around the streets and fire upon anybody she feels like?
Half the population of Ireland
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Louis
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after the potato famine, who invaded Liverpool
the biggest grin in the world
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Scratch-n-sniff
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what is the queen the proudest owner of?
23 hectares
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Dave
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How big would the face of Dave McCabe be if spread out?
The underside of a blue whale
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Scratch-n-sniff
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where's is the worst place to tickle and sexually arouse and animal?
complimented in 6 years
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Dave
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What was That cock who doesn't like Monty Python :P's biggest achievement when he went to prison?
Haemmeroids
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Scratch-n-sniff
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what would be a nicer alternative to death?
120 over 60
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Dave
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What's the definition of a double orgy?
The end of the world
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Scratch-n-sniff
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what will it mean when david cameron actually acts naturally?
0, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55, 89, 144, 233, 377
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Liam, Major Major drummer
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what are sams vital statistics (or something about fibunachi)
2 red lamps
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Dave
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What do prostitutes use if they are siamese twins?
Me in a tutu
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Scratch-n-sniff
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my worst dream ever was....
well, im engaged now
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Dave
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What did my rape victim say the other night?
It's darker
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StinkyP
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Why does Jim Davidson get less work in Bolton than Belgium?
Like a baby holding an apple.
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Scratch-n-sniff
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dave cock is...?
86% burns
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Dave
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How much of Northwest Tonight is Gordon?
Like sticking my genitals in a beehive
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Scratch-n-sniff
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listening to major major is like?
5.49
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Dave
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What time did six o' clock used to be before they decided to change it so that the hands lined up more?
Like buttering a whale's tongue
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Scratch-n-sniff
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whats a dissertation like?
jews
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StinkyP
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Who won the "best silly hat" category at the Religious Style Awards?
Not that ring!
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Liam, Major Major drummer
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what did mike tyson say to julian clarie after he said he likes giving s good pounding in the ring?
a new job
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Dave
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If I had one hand up a cow's backside, what would I need?
Like giving birth to a flaming porcupine
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