| Archive for majormajor.myfreeforum.org This is where you can discuss all things Major Major. Talk about live performances, songs or whatever |
| Major Neil |
Have you ever noticed....the way if a cleaner is cleaning/mopping a floor and someone wants to walk past.. to make sure they don't walk on the wet floor and make it dirty again for the cleaner who has put so much hard work into it...they run in a silly manner on tip toes through it?!?!?! As if thats gonna make any difference hahathis thread is about every day observations Peter Kay style or serious.. Lenny Henry style! away away wild horses! vamooosh! |
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| Liam, Major Major drummer |
thats true
im asuming this is inspired from the world of work. also if you dont do the dance of least disturbance and just walk through it they get really angry. ITS WHAT THE BLOODY FLOOR'S FOR MOTHER FATHER!!! |
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| EmmersoN |
you should save these comical observations for your next podcast! It will give you something to talk about for a change! | ||
| Dave |
Haha very bitchy
Have you ever noticed how people on this forum put more effort into threads that they have started? I know I do |
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| Scratch-n-sniff |
have you ever noticed how small text makes people squint? | ||
| Dave |
OR THAT CAPITALS AND EXCLAMATION MARKS MAKE YOU THINK IM SHOUTING?!! WHEN I'M CLEARLY JUST SILENTLY TYPING!!! | ||
| EmmersoN |
No you were definitely shouting! I can picture you shouting at the screen with rage in your eyes as you were typing! | ||
| Dave |
Well you would, you probably have cameras in my house...........stalker! | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
Have you ever noticed that people on work or disability benefits can quite easily get to the post office to pick them up? | ||
| Major Neil |
.. some people have really loud heavy pisses as if there are live fish dropping into the urinal!!?? | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
...how neil would be in Channel 4's worst stand up ever. | ||
| Major Neil |
i was being serious!!
also have you ever noticed how older people can't piss all in one go!! it sorta starts and then splutters for a bit! |
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| Major Neil |
today everything is piss related | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
cus of prostate problems, this routine would not go down well at snigger's. |
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| Major Neil |
have you ever noticed you seem to feel like you have got to have a piss everytime you go for a poo!?? | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
ok thats quite funny | ||
| Major Neil |
thanks! | ||
| Major Neil |
ever noticed how pigeons never have all of their toes?! <this is one of Conors> have look, there is always at least 1 missing! | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
...black guys drive like this..doo de de da dah hm hm..and white guys they drive like this....ya da da ya waa wa da ya dawaaa | ||
| Major Neil |
haha! ever noticed how it's so hard to go through a day without quoting the Simpsons?! | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
aarrrrrrrr
....how no one gives a shit about science anymore, back in the day Newton was the most famous man in the world, now its some reality tv wank job |
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| Scratch-n-sniff |
...how the only two people on this forum who work in the public sector seem to have a lot of free time on their hands | ||
| Major Neil |
hmmm worryingly i have noticed that!! | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
I notice it more due to the fact I am replying to your post, rendering this post useless with no point to it what so ever | ||
| EmmersoN |
How is that different from any other post on this forum!? | ||
| Dave |
....that bus drivers never apologise for slamming on the brakes and making old women fall over | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
hahaha. You ever been on a bus in london? No one pays with money they use oyster cards so when you pay with money its like "what the hell? get off my bus!" | ||
| EmmersoN |
I got on a bus somewhere that required exact change. It was so annoying and awkward :S - it may of been london... or possibly dublin? |
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| Scratch-n-sniff |
they do that in birmingham, well annoying | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
when you wave your hand in front on a computer monitor it looks well cool | ||
| jobo |
You'll be olde and grey one day Major Neil and then what will you do beside not piss all in one go. Its a lotta fun pissin' in short bursts 'cos you get to enjoy it more!! 
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| Scratch-n-sniff |
how golf is the worst dressed sport of all! | ||
| Dave |
.....how people in shops take longer to give you a penny change, probably in the hope that you will say 'keep it' | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
bloody annoying when its 99p, what moron thinks they are ACTUALLY saving £1 because it says 9.99 instead of £10! | ||
| StinkyP |
...how when people (YES, YOU, BUS DRIVERS) don't have change to give you, they say "I'll owe you". No they won't, that's just theft. | ||
| Major Neil |
when you go to
www.majormajor.myfreeforum.org it is a weird and wonderful layout!!???? |
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| Louis |
thats mad that is | ||
| Dave |
....that newsreaders can go from laughy and jokey to sombre and serious in the blink of an eye and nobody says anything? | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
...how the favourite for the grand national NEVER wins | ||
| Dave |
....that the BBC Three slugs would make excellent toys | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
...when women have babies its the best news in the world but then spend 18 years moaning about having kids | ||
| Dave |
...that Scrubs on E4 is so ridiculously edited it just becomes ludicrous. Any swear words/slightly rude words/teensy bits of violence or slight references to something even slightly sexual are all really obviously cut out | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
friends does it all the time on channel 4, its well annoying but an improvement on some of the later shows which are shite | ||
| Liam, Major Major drummer |
[sudden unexplained caned laughter] |
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| Dave |
Hahaha
Have you ever noticed that you always feel like an idiot after giving someone directions |
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| EmmersoN |
Yeah but thats ususally because about 30 seconds after the depart on their merry way I realise I have given them the complete wrong directions | ||
| Dave |
It happened today, some feller asked me for a location and I gave him the wrong directions. Luckily, he realised I was a complete idiot and so totally ignored my advice, therefore getting to his destination much quicker
Have you ever noticed that the Darleks have never been, and never will be scary? |
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| Scratch-n-sniff |
a plunger on a dustbin? what were they thinking!?
have you ever noticed that only any sort of government form (e.g passport) is harder than any exam you will ever sit? |
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| EmmersoN |
Student loan forms were the worst! They just went on and on... | ||
| Dave |
Yes I have, they have to compensate for every single possibility of human being which means you end up with stupid questions like 'Have you or you partner ever been deaf between the years 1991-92 whilst renting a council flat in the Thames Valley area?'
If they cut everything out that didn't apply to me it would just be a piece of paper with my name and address on it |
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| Scratch-n-sniff |
to which the options are
- Yes - Possibly, give details... |
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| Dave |
....how people get really annoyed at the supermarket if you don't put that barrier thing down on the conveyor belt? | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
how no one has mentioned where tony blair is going to live when he leaves his job? | ||
| Louis |
how old the videos on youve been framed are | ||
| Dave |
....that Eastenders never ever looks appealing when you accidentally turn it on | ||
| J4K1NATOR |
I NEVER ACCIDENTALLY TURN ON EASTENDERS. eASTENDERS IS A HORRIBLE ACCIDENT
have you noticed that chavs are a severe infection on these isles |
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| Scratch-n-sniff |
eastenders is for southerners and corornation street is for northerners and people in the midlands just watch noddy holder doing a jig | ||
| Dave |
Have you ever noticed that we always seem slightly proud of the fact we come bottom in every good table of European statistics? | ||
| Liam, Major Major drummer |
have you ever noticed that the eastern block countries never have anything in the top 40 but always win at eurovision!? | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
how everyone hates the UK except for ireland and malta | ||
| Gibbo |
How our Eurovision entry - in which people sing a song about "flying the flag all over the world" over a backdrop of Union Jacks - was somehow unpopular with most of Europe and our colonial conquests. | ||
| Louis |
apart from malta!!! | ||
| J4K1NATOR |
have you ever noticed that not matter how much Bill Gates and other rish charity givers give, Africa's problems are still unsolved. | ||
| Dave |
Have you ever noticed that the kind of people who go on about celebrities not giving to charity are the people who would do exactly the same if they were as rich | ||
| Liam, Major Major drummer |
africa is indeed fucked my uncle lives out there working in an orphanage and he says all you can do is make people a bit more comfortable and rub to educate them. they have basically no opertunities and there legal system/goverment is corupt and broken. |
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| J4K1NATOR |
have you noticed everyone uses the word 'rub' instead of 'rub' | ||
| J4K1NATOR |
Oh god WTF is happening, it automatically changed.
Work of the Devil! WORK OF THE DEVIL! |
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| Gibbo |
Have you ever noticed how we've just completely come to terms with the hidden words? | ||
| J4K1NATOR |
has anyone noticed that if on the 10,000 thread everyone that had viewed it had posted we'd be almost finished? | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
i know, that pisses me off, who's doing that!? | ||
| Dave |
Weird isn't it? As if some people are opening the thread, thinking 'hmm numbers' I shan't contribute, and then closing the forum
They should be hanged |
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| Dave |
Have you ever noticed that the forum appears to be on a high at the moment? | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
yes!
have you ever noticed when you have weetabix the last one in the packet is always crumbled so you basically get a bowl of weet, no bix. |
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| Dave |
Have you ever noticed that there are no electric pencil sharpeners any more? | ||
| Liam, Major Major drummer |
thats because there are no electric pencils anymore.
b bum tsh |
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| J4K1NATOR |
have you noticed Harry Potter books get unnecessarily thicker as they are released | ||
| StinkyP |
Have you ever noticed that Harry Potter books get unnecessarily released? | ||
| Dave |
Have you ever noticed the unnecessary hatred of Harry Potter? It's just another book for kiddies but everybody seems to have taken it upon themselves to project it as the most evil creation since Mein Kampf | ||
| Gibbo |
Have you ever noticed how after the Da Vinci Code came out there's about a million knock-off religious thrillers that involve conspiracies, evil monkys and mysterious secrets? | ||
| Dave |
Have you ever noticed that peeling potatoes is the worst household chore? | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
have you ever noticed no one gives a monkey's about the bafta's anymore | ||
| Dave |
Have you ever noticed that you still feel nervous lighting a grill after you've left the gas running for just a few seconds? | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
have you ever noticed they add the smell to gas and the actual smell of gas is nothing, have you also noticed this should be in the facts thread | ||
| Dave |
Have you ever noticed that when the government does something, the media get a quote from the opposition, which is always rendered completely useless by the fact all they seem to do is directly contradict what the government (ie- their main rival) is doing without adding any details of their own.
Example Conservative/Liberal Democrat: "Labour's decision was wrong. Mine would have been better" Well of course they'd fucking say that! What a predictable waste of time that was |
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| Gibbo |
Have you ever noticed that old people who rap aren't as funny as they should be. They just make me cry: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moRT_8DsOQE | ||
| Dave |
Have you ever noticed that lie-detector results on documentaries or the news always appear to be "inconclusive" but when lie-detectors are used on Trisha or Jeremy Kyle, they are always 100% conclusive? | ||
| Major Neil |
hahaha! dat so true brother!
have you ever noticed how all fat/large people, when going to a urinal on a night out, will stand right in the centre of the urinal to piss. making it hard awkward for people to get a place! bloody fatty bumbums! |
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| Scratch-n-sniff |
have you ever noticed that people complain that student come out of uni with £30,000 worth of debt but dont have to pay any of it back nor do that have to pay it back in a great amounts so by the time they are 30 and ready to settle down at a real job the debt gets cleared anyway | ||
| J4K1NATOR |
No | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
ok | ||
| J4K1NATOR |
...that the 'D' in disney looks like some extravogent new letter like a backwards 'G' or is it just me? | ||
| Dave |
Have you ever noticed that Mickey Mouse is really quite a boring feller? | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
that minnie mouse is acutally just mickey mouse with eye lashes, a bow and a dress.
And how donald duck doesn't wear any trousers but puts a towel around him when he gets out the shower AND how all these creatures seem to go around and run their own world but they keep animals as pets but not humans as pets |
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| Major Neil |
"Micky's a mouse, donald's a duck, pluto's a dog... what's Goofy??!!" -from the great film, Stand By Me!
I still don't know!! The obvious answer everyone says is Goofy is a dog! But he drives around in a car and wears clothes! Yet Pluto(a dog) doesn't!!?? |
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| Scratch-n-sniff |
apparantley he's a dog but the whole pluto situation makes it confusing. Goofy is anthropomorphic where as pluto is just a dog.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anthropomorphic |
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| Major Neil |
Why have an advanced dog and a none advanced dog in the same cartoon!? Like.. anthropomorphism is used in all the disney characters except pluto?! why? I want answers damn it!!!!! | ||
| Dave |
It's quite simple, the animators had already designed Goofy as an anthropomorphic dog just like all the other characters. However when they wanted Mickey Mouse to have a pet dog, they realised that it would be a bit weird if they had Goofy fetching sticks and sniffing crotches in his waistcoat and funny hat. So they thought "let's just draw a normal dog and call him Pluto. Nobody will mind because IT'S A FUCKING CARTOON FOR KIDS AND WHO THE FUCKING SHITTING HELL WOULD BE SO SAD ENOUGH TO GET SO WORKED UP ABOUT THAT IN THE FUTURE??!!"
That's my guess anyway |
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| J4K1NATOR |
that all of the disney characters (I think) except Pluto all where the same gloves. | ||
| Louis |
 
that if the album Rubber Soul is held upside-down in front of a mirror, the title seems to read ROAD ABBEY i got this off wikipedia looks more like road yabbey |
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| Scratch-n-sniff |
wow if i was a beatles fan i would be amazed | ||