| Archive for majormajor.myfreeforum.org This is where you can discuss all things Major Major. Talk about live performances, songs or whatever |
| Louis |
Great simpsons quotesI just read this one and it inspired me in my boredom to start a new topic"Mrs Simpson what did you and your husband do after leaving the restuarant?" "we pretty much went home" "mrs simpson you are under oath" "we drove around for 3 hours looking for another all you can eat sea food restuarant." "and when you couldn't find one...?" "we went fishing" |
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| Scratch-n-sniff |
Homer ten....terrorists....eight | ||
| Dave |
"Aaarrr I'm not attractive" | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
Isn't this the line for Metallica? | ||
| Major Neil |
bart :"ahhh I'm a nerd"
milhouse: "ahhh so am i!!" |
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| Dave |
It must be a ghost car! | ||
| Major Neil |
best ever>>
"i will just pull my legs out with my arms...and now i will pull my arms out with my face!" |
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| Louis |
^^^^ yes! | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
Jay my new movie is a mixture of action und komodie, its called McBain..let's get silly! | ||
| Dave |
Did you ever notice how men always leave the toilet seat up?.....That's the joke
YOU SUCK MCBAIN! *Gunfire* |
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| Scratch-n-sniff |
Gentlemen, your attention please. I am detecting a gigiantic amphibious life-form, it's 80 meters long and it's heading this way. Oh good glayven it's on my shoe. It's a small frog, just get off, just get off there, just get out of it, get out of it. Stupid machine, oh wait a minute, this isn't the Monsterometer, it's the Frog-Exaggerator. | ||
| Azzar |
I think it was called, "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down" | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
Homer: The food at the Gilded Truffle really ... What's a good word?
Maggie: :sucks: Homer: Sucks! That's great! And the bread was really ... Come on, help me out here! Santa's Little Helper: Ruff! Homer: Rough? I don't know, you've been pitching that all night. Santa's Little Helper: Chewy? Homer: Chewy! That's inspired! |
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| Scratch-n-sniff |
"If you see a tie on the door knob, that means I'm with a lady."
"But you don't have a door knob" "I don't have a tie either" |
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| Scratch-n-sniff |
I told the clerk at the store I wanted this sandwich sliced...
:arm chopped off: owwww! |
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| Major Neil |
one liam reminded me of last night!
homer: "linguo dead!!" linguo: " linguo ISdead" |
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| Scratch-n-sniff |
"Tight lips Tony, where have you been shot?"
"I aint saying nothing!" "But what will we tell the doctor?" "Tell him go suck on a lemon!" |
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| Scratch-n-sniff |
Attention Marge Simpson, your son has been arrested...Attention Marge Simpson, we've also arrested your older, balder, fatter son. | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
3 classics from tonights episode
Oh no, my brain! I gotta go, my damn wife and my weiner kids are listening "Stop everything! I don't remember writing a check for bowling!" "Uh, sir, that's your boweling." "Ah yes, that's always important" "Stop everything! I don't remember writing a check for bowling!" |
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| Dave |
Remember that month you didn't do it?
Yes, that was unpleasant for all concerned |
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| Scratch-n-sniff |
lmfao
Robert Goulet: Are you sure this is the Casino? Mr. Burns' Casino? I think I should call my manager... Nelson: Your manager says for you to shut up! Robert Goulet: Vera said that? |
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| Dave |
Good evening sir, would you please leave without a fuss right now | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
There's something bothering me about this place........This lesbian bar doesn't have a fire exit! Enjoy your death trap ladies!
What was her problem? |
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| Scratch-n-sniff |
Scientists, please! I'm looking for some order. Some order, please, with the eyes forward and the hands neatly folded and the paying of attention........Pi is exactly three! | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
I'll just have a coffee
Beer it is no no, coffee beer? co-ffee b-eer? c....o.... b....e... And also from that classic episode That's not a knife....THIS is a kinfe That's not a knife, thats a spoon man Ah, I see we've played knife and spoony before |
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| Dave |
Nobody in history has ever attempted anything THIS clever | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
lmfao
Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup? Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa. Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product. Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy? Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning. Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart. Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out. Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said. Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case. Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to. Homer: Bart, go to your room. |
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| Scratch-n-sniff |
Oh no, nothing get's chocolate out...see? | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
err no you've got the wrong number this is 9 - 1 ....2 | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
Hey stu you should totally get that
Disco Stu doesn't advertise |
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| Dave |
My eyes! Ze goggles do nothing! | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
Come on people, someone ordered the London Symphony Orchestra. Possibly while high... Cypress Hill, I'm looking in your direction.
Uh, do you know "Insane in the Brain"? We mostly know classical... but we could give it a shot. |
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| Scratch-n-sniff |
Come on people, someone ordered the London Symphony Orchestra. Possibly while high... Cypress Hill, I'm looking in your direction.
Uh, do you know "Insane in the Brain"? We mostly know classical... but we could give it a shot. |
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| Scratch-n-sniff |
This is a thousand monkeys working at a thousand typewriters soon they'll have finished the greatest novel known to man.....all right, let's see..."It was the best of times, it was the BLURST of times?" You stupid monkey! | ||
| EmmersoN |
"Springfield Hospital - Come for the surgery - Stay for the complications" | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
Oh no! Blood! | ||
| Louis |
Now don't worry, this won't hurt a bit...... until i ram this down your throat | ||
| Louis |
Sanjay to the entrance with the windex, sanjay to the entrance with the windex | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
Put out an APB on a Uosdwis R. Dewoh. Uh, better start with Greektown.
That's "Homer J. Simpson", Chief. You're reading it upside down. Uh, cancel that APB. But, uh, bring back some of them, uh, gyros. Uh, Chief? You're talking into your wallet. |
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| Dave |
"Hmm, you were right about the Berlin Wall"
Also, anything by Hank Scorpio |
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| Louis |
the red things connected to my wristwatch | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city! He is the cancer and I am the ... uh ... what cures cancer? | ||
| Louis |
Chalmers:Is that smoke coming from your kitchen?
Skinner: Aurora Borealis. Chalmers: Aurora borealis? at this time of day, at this time of year, localised entirely within your kitchen? Skinner:Yes! Chalmers: May I see it? Skinner: No. |
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| Scratch-n-sniff |
She didn't reckon with the awesome power of the Chief of Police! Now where did I put my badge?...Hey, that duck's got it! | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
Shit I just realised I'm on holiday when the simpsons movie comes out, pants | ||
| EmmersoN |
"8 Hour Jazz benefit gig (Two songs will be played)" | ||
| Dave |
I too am on holiday then, Luxembourg to be precise
They better have fucking cinemas there! |
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| Scratch-n-sniff |
lol, the countries only big enough to fit the vast amount of banks they have, your best bet will be a french or swiss cinema which will show it in english with french subtitles.
Take him away, boys. Hey, I'm the Police Chief here. Bake him away, toys. What was that, chief? Do what the kid says. |
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| Scratch-n-sniff |
Uh, Dave Shutton, Springfield Daily Shopper. Who are you? Where are you going?
Oh, do your research, Shutton! Kent Brockman, Channel Six News.... |
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| Dave |
I pickled the figs myself | ||
| Major Neil |
Chief Wiggum: Okay folks, show's over. Nothing to see here, show's... Oh my god! A horrible plane crash! Hey everybody, get a load of this flaming wreckage! Come on, crowd around, crowd around! | ||
| Major Neil |
Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star. | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
lmao
Hello, Simpson. I'm riding the bus today because Mother hid my car keys to punish me for talking to a woman on the phone. She was right to do it. |
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| Louis |
Bob: Its German for The Bart, The
Jury woman: No one who speaks German could be a bad man |
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| Scratch-n-sniff |
McBaine: Ice to see you | ||
| Louis |
embiggens, why its a perfectly chromulent word | ||
| Dave |
"Egads! A monster!"
"Tis a terrible fiend!" "It's some sort of land cow!" |
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| Scratch-n-sniff |
How did you miss a ship that size?
Yarr, two glass eyes |
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| Dave |
He's embiggened that role with his cromulent performance | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
Last night's 'Itchy and Scratchy Show' was, without a doubt, the worst episode....ever. Rest assured, I was on the internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world.
(pretty much sums up this forum) |
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| Dave |
Haha I honestly didn't realise you were quoting the Simpsons then | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
I'll quote cast from now on
Moe: We could rub selling liquor; I'm doing great! Skinner: Please, sir! Put some shoes on! Moe: What, you don't like my bags? |
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| Major Neil |
Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up) Chief Wiggum: Ooh, and here, out of the mists of history, the legendary esquilax, a horse with the head of a rabbit and the body of a rabbit. |
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| Scratch-n-sniff |
haha
Wiggum: See ya in court, Simpson. Oh, and bring that evidence with ya; otherwise, I got no case and you'll go scot-free |
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| Dave |
You need more help operating your telephone machine | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
What did you get that for?
Pushing burns out of a third story window Did he die? What am I, a doctor? |
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| Louis |
welcome to Itchy and Scratchy land were nothing can possibli go wrong...er..possibly go wrong...thats the first thing thats ever gone wrong | ||
| Major Neil |
hahaha!!
Homer: "Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me." Post Office person: "Okay, Mr. Burns, what's your first name?" Homer: "I... don't know." |
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| Scratch-n-sniff |
That is a rare photo of Sean Connery signed by Roger Moore. | ||
| Dave |
I'm sure that's the first time I really laughed at the Simpsons (After robot Itchy has face taken off) "Aaargh!" Scientist: I really wish they wouldn't scream |
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| Scratch-n-sniff |
When I went home at the weekend my dad had got my brother and sister a trampoline so I was like
"TRAMAPOLINE...TRAMOMPOLINE...TRAPOLINE!!!" |
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| Dave |
"We sell forbidden objects from places men fear to tread, we also sell frozen yogurt, which I call frogurt!"
Here's that bit http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_szP8HMYoU |
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| Louis |
whats a muppet?
well its not quite a mop and not quite a puppet |
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| Scratch-n-sniff |
Homer, is this how you pictured married life?
Yeah, pretty much, except we drove around in a van solving mysteries. |
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| Dave |
I prefer that other episode, where Marge asks a very similar question and Homer just replies with "Meh, I never thought I'd live this long" | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
lol
Willie: Yeah, I bought your little mutt.... And I 'ate him. I 'ate his little face, I 'ate his guts, and I 'ate the way he's always barkin'. So I geeeve him to the church Bart: Ohhhh, you hate him so you gave him to the church? Willie: Aye. I also 'ate the mess he left on the rug... You heard me! |
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| Major Neil |
LOL. < i actually did as well! embarassment int the work place! |
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| Scratch-n-sniff |
George Bush: Alright mister... you want trouble you're going to get trouble.
Homer: Oh I want trouble alright! George Bush: Then you're going to get trouble! Homer: No you're gonna get trouble! George Bush: Well that's good, because I want trouble! Homer: Then we're agreed there'll be trouble! George Bush: Oh yeah lots of trouble! Homer: Trouble it is. George Bush: For you! Homer: For m.... D'oh! |
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| Louis |
Homer: Look at me, I'm making people happy, I'm the magical man, from happy land, with a gumdrop house on lollipop lane........... by the way i was being sarcastic
Marge: Well dur!! |
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| Scratch-n-sniff |
Yarr that's handsome Pete, he dances for nikels
... Not a quarter! He'll be dancing for hours! |
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| Azzar |
"now back to people who look like things" | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
lol
we just want to be treated with repect! |
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| Dave |
And a candle at Halloween?
Yes a ca.....HEY! |
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| Scratch-n-sniff |
Mr. Simpson, this is the most blatant case of false advertising since my case against "The Never-Ending Story" | ||
| Louis |
I call the big one bitey | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
Gil: Well, if you, well ... really? Wow, Hot, hot dog! A sale!
Stan: I'll take it from here, Gil Gil: No, wait, no. Aw, you can't take my sale. My wife's going to leave me if I don't start bringing in the green. Come on, let me have this one, Stan, I'm begging you. Look at me, I'm begging you, Stan. Stan: Mm-hm Let's go write this up, shall we? Gil: Honey, you should have seen me with my last customer, I ...no, but I came so close. This guy was as ... Whose voice is that?... Is that Fred? ... Aw honey, you said it was over ... no don't put him on... Hi Fred! |
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| Louis |
ned: argggghhhh! Purple drapes, ive always wanted a house with purple drapes, arghhhhh!!!! | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
its on in 5 mins
"We've reached the limits of what rectal probing can teach us" |
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| Dave |
"Peppe, go for the face!" | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
Hello Joe! | ||
| Louis |
alley ball? | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
Is it st switherns day aunt hellllga?
Tis replied aunt helllllga! Hello Joe! Ally Balls! Freshen yer drink guv'na? |
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| Louis |
flinstone chewable morphine | ||
| Liam, Major Major drummer |
dental plan
lisa needs braces |
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| Scratch-n-sniff |
.......If we..don't have the..dental plan...lisa won't get her braces!!! | ||
| Louis |
Lady: you must meet our daughter the debutante, she came out this spring
Larry Burns: Woah, woah, put her back in shes not ready yet. |
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| Scratch-n-sniff |
Milo: Who the heck is that?
Hannah: Well, the one on the left is Mel Gibson. I don't know who the other two guys are! |
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| Dave |
I have had the following excerpt of the Simpsons stuck in my head all day and would like everyone to sing it as they read
All together now- "I got that joy joy joy joy down in my heart" "Where?" "Down in my heart to stay. "And if the Devil don't like it he can sit on a tack" "Ouch!" etc etc etc |
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| StinkyP |
"Once you go Vatican you never go back... again" | ||
| Scratch-n-sniff |
Make sure you don't rub to get it out with a bone! | ||